1. Buy a template from a cheap website
Why pay for an expensive good looking site when you could just buy a cheap, rubbish looking site that looks like so many others.
2. Use Flash
Spend loads of time and money on making your site move and playing music, annoying as many of your customers as possible. And don’t forget – search engines love flash!
3. A Landing Page
Let’s force our users to make an extra click for absolutely no reason. A complete waste of everyone’s time.
4. Hide your contact details at all costs
Now that you have a website you certainly don’t want people to call or email you, they can find all the information on your site. So make your contact information as hard to find as possible.
5. Make the layout as inconsistent as possible
Who cares if your users want to know where the navigation is, just keep moving it around the page so they find it difficult to move around the site.
6. Spend as little money on the site as possible
An advert in a local newspaper for 1 day can cost anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand pounds, so you should only expect to spend £200 on your website, I mean it’s only going to be online forever.
7. Make your ads as intrusive as possible, ideally make sure they’re out of context
Now it’s time to start thinking about how to make money from your rubbish site. Sign up for as many advertising programmes as you can. I’d especially recommend pop-ups as everyone likes them, and preferably explicit adverts to turn your clients away.
8. Test your site in just 1 browser
As long as your site looks fine in Internet explorer it’s bound to look exactly the same in all the others, don’t bother checking.
9. Don’t worry if the site isn’t finished. Launch it as quickly as possible
Everyone loves under construction pages, so just get the site live asap and people can waste their time staring at your unfinished pages.
10. Use a WYSIWYG editor to code your site rather than wasting time learning HTML.
Just pick up a copy of something like Dreamweaver and away you go. You’ll have loads of extra code that you don’t need, as well as inline styles that just confuse you. Don’t bother with CSS who needs it!